The 3:30PM Child: When They Hold It Together All Day—and Fall Apart With You

The teacher says they had a great day. Then they get in the car with you.

Suddenly they're crying. They're angry. They're starving. Their brother looked at them wrong. Everything is wrong.

Sound familiar?

Kids spend all day listening, learning, following directions, navigating friendships and keeping it together. Then they get home to the person they feel safest with—and it all comes out.

But before you reach for a remedy, let them come home.

What Do They Need From You?

I have two boys, and they're completely different after school.

One tells me everything. If something happened with a friend or he had a lousy day, I'm going to hear about it. So I have a snack he likes waiting for him and I listen.

“Yeah, hon. That wasn't awesome.”

“I'm sorry that happened.”

Sometimes that's all he needs.

My other son?

“How was your day?”

“Fine.”

So I have to ask better questions.

“What was the best part?”

“What was the hardest part?”

Before he disappears into a book or onto a device, I want that little bit of connection.

Different kids need different things from us—and the same is true when we're deciding whether they need a remedy at all.

The Child Who Is Absolutely Spent

They're mentally done. They may be exhausted, irritable, headachy and unable to face another bit of schoolwork.

Kali phos 6X is one to consider when mental exertion leaves a child exhausted.

They've used their brain all day and have nothing left.

Calc phos 6X can also be useful for the tired, growing school-aged child, especially when mental work brings headaches or there are growing pains alongside the fatigue.

One of the things I love about tissue salts is that they can be used more consistently when needed.

Kali phos 6X or Calc phos 6X can be taken 2–3 times daily, always observing the child and stopping when very much better.

But sometimes? They need a sandwich and an hour where nobody asks them to do anything.

The Child Who Is Furious

Everything irritates them. Their sibling is annoying. You asked the wrong question. The snack is wrong. Nothing makes them happy.

First: Hungry? Tired? Overstimulated? Do they need some space?

If the irritability is intense—the child is extremely cross, contrary and impossible to please—

Chamomilla 30C or 200C may be worth considering.

Often one dose as needed is enough.

If the picture persists, it can be taken morning and night until the condition resolves, stopping when very much better.

We're not giving Chamomilla because a child is angry. We're looking for that recognizable Chamomilla picture.

The Child Who Comes Home Heartbroken

A friend left them out. Someone said something hurtful. A teacher embarrassed them. And they can't seem to let it go.

First, listen.

They're allowed to be sad when something sad happens.

If that upset lingers, Ignatia 200C is a remedy to consider after acute grief, disappointment or emotional hurt, particularly when they keep replaying what happened.

Pulsatilla 30C has a softer picture. This child is weepy, wants Mom close, wants reassurance and generally feels better from being comforted.

For either remedy, one dose as needed may be all that's necessary.

If the emotional upset persists, the remedy can be taken morning and night until it resolves. As always, stop when very much better.

See What's Left

Not every uncomfortable emotion needs a remedy. Feed them. Let them talk. Let them be quiet. Get them outside. Give them a hug. Give them some space.

Then pay attention to what remains.

Is the exhaustion excessive? Are the headaches happening repeatedly? Is the irritability extreme? Are they coming home devastated day after day?

That's when the symptom picture becomes important.

Our kids spend a lot of their day away from us.

By 3:30, we may be getting the tiredest, hungriest, most emotional version of them.

Sometimes they need a remedy. Sometimes they need a snack.

And sometimes they just need Mom.

If you’re curious to learn more about how homeopathy can support you, your friends, family, and even your pets, we invite you to subscribe to our mailing list. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram for daily tips, stories, and community connection.

~ Lisa Heinrichs PHom M

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The Author disclaims all liability for any loss or risk, personal or otherwise incurred as a consequence of use of any material in this article. This information is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.